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You all betta be at PAX PRIME… Or else… *BOINK*

[UPDATE]

TF2 Train Gallery

Sakura-Con 2012 Gallery

-TF2 Team

If there’s one thing we know more about than hats, it’s probably romance. Remember that romantic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds up a boom box in the rain? Well, we hold stuff up in the rain all the time. Golf clubs. Our wallets. An umbrella. Whatever’s handy, really. And do the girls go for it? Hard to tell – it rains pretty hard in Seattle, so the limited visibility combined with wind shear makes it tough to see the appreciation on the ladies’ faces.

Anyway, today’s Valentine’s Day, and that means if you’re dating or married, you’re going to drop somewhere in the area of $600 tonight on flowers, dinner, babysitters, hot air balloon rides, a hospital bill for rain-related holding injuries (Seattle only). It adds up fast, and you might be asking yourself at the end of the night, “Was it all worth it?” The answer, emphatically, is no. Happy Valentine’s Day, stupid.

But wait! What if we told you that you could waste as much as 1/6 less money this Valentine’s Day? What if we added that you could do it without even leaving your house? Then what if we sweetened the deal further by saying sorry for calling you stupid earlier?

Introducing the “Something Special For Someone Special”. It’s ring-shaped, it’s gift-wrapped, it’s basically useless, and it’s really expensive ($100!). In short, it’s the most accurate simulation of an actual Valentine’s Day gift ever made available to the public.

Here’s how it works:

First, it’s not tradable, only giftable. When it shows up in your special someone’s backpack, they can click on it to open a menu that will let them accept your proposal. Once the proposal’s been accepted, a message will be broadcast to the entire TF community that will include your name, your special someone’s name, and whatever you decided to call the ring. Then presto, the gift turns into two matching diamond bands you can wear in the rain while you smooch up a storm, you crazy kids.

-TF2 Team

My radio’s bad from the Boulevard.
I’m a hip-hop gangster and my name is Todd.
Terrorising my neighbours with the heavy bass.
I keep the suckas in fear by the look on my face.
-LL Cool J, 1985

Most people only know LL Cool J as a rapper, actor, fashion designer, record producer, and author. Now, though, you can add “spooky-ass Nostradamus” to that list, because we’ve just released a misc slot item for the Scout called “The Boston Boom Bringer” that pretty much exactly matches the lyrics LL penned almost thirty years ago. Is it a radio? Yes! Is it “bad”? Yes! When you taunt while it’s equipped, will it play music to terrorize your neighbors and scare suckas? Yes! Are you a hip-hop gangster named Todd? That’s gonna vary from person to person, obviously, but it’s not totally out of the question! The point is, there’s probably an LL Cool J song that predicts your death. The secondary point is everything we just said about the sweet new boom box item.

We went through LL Cool J’s back catalog looking for other prescient rap songs that described musical items available for the other eight classes, but apparently one of the Ls stands for “lazy”, because it doesn’t look like he wrote any. So just in case anyone out there wants to succeed where LL Cool J failed, we’ve added a special “Sound Device” category to both the in-game item submission UI and in the Workshop so that you can tag your sound-themed submissions. Make something good enough and it may join the ranks of Aladdin’s Private Reserve, The Conquistador, and the Lucky Shot, all great community-made items we’ve shipped this year that were mentioned by name on rap oracle LL Cool J’s 1987 album “Bigger and Deffer”.

[Source]

-TF2 Writers

If you thought the end of the world was the only thing to look forward to in 2012, guess again. There’s a ton of TF2 stuff on the horizon, running for their lives just slightly ahead of the Mayan blood tornadoes.

A Secret TF2 Project!
The TF2 team is working on something brand new for 2012. We can’t tell you what it is, because they won’t tell us, but what they WILL say is that it isn’t a hat, it isn’t a map, and go away. From this we can only conclude that the TF2 team is working on some ungodly hat-map hybrid that you can wear on your head while you run around in it. You heard it here first. Also last, because they just told us it’s not that either. But it’s
really cool.

A Steam Workshop Blog!
You might think we went a little overboard putting an exclamation mark on that title, but hear us out: we bought a gross of exclamatory punctuation on eBay, and we’ve got to get rid of these things before someone finds out how much we spent on them. ($7,000!!!!!!) Anyway, the blog is live! Check it out here for the latest workshop news and announcements! There’ve been nearly 4000 user-generated items submitted so far, and we’re going to keep shipping them throughout the year(!), so head over to the Workshop and vote on what you’d like to see.

The Last “Meet the Team” Short
That title probably deserved an exclamation mark, but we over-estimated how many we had and now we’re out. This year, the lovable, indecipherable Pyro finally gets some time in the spotlight. There will be blood. And not like in the movie There Will Be Blood, either, where there was only blood at the end, and not even very much of it. Ours has lots of blood pretty much all the way through. If the butterscotch mint-sucking old mummies who pick the Academy Awards thought Look Out, There Might Be a Little Blood was great, wait’ll they see how many gallons we managed to cram into our movie. They’re going to have to melt down Fort Knox to make all the Oscars we’re going to win.

The Second Annual Saxxy Awards
Just in case the Oscar mummies don’t recognize the subtle dramatic undertones of the uninterrupted blood explosion that is Meet the Pyro, we can always stack the deck at the Saxxys, our own awards show. This year, expect the Saxxys to be much bigger and better, due to the imminent unveiling of another secret. Is it that we’re giving Meet the Pyro five Oscars? That’s not the secret, but let’s just say we’d like to thank the Academy. More specifically, we’d like to thank the Academy’s lawyers for not reading this blog post.

Source

Meet the Medic is finally released!! It is hilariously… Epic.
“Own a piece of history with this heirloom-quality Medic Heritage Set! Includes something for everyone! War historians will appreciate the original medigun – still handy even though the invuln function shorted out after its first use. Art lovers will cherish the bust of Hippocrates, commemorating a time when the Medic still thought doing no harm was a good idea. And attention hepatitis fans: what heritage set would be complete without a rusty old gun that shoots dirty needles?”

If you haven’t yet, check out the Meet the Team videos.

Team Fortress 2 Is Free-to-Play!!! Ok… That is the best news ever. There is no reason to not download this incredible game. Having a LAN will be a lot easier “Let’s play TF2!!” ..Oh I don’t have it. “IT’S FREE ON STEAM, NO EXCUSES” …okay. “MAGGOT!”

Team Fortress 2 FREE-To-PLAY!

“Men! This is a speech! If you are hearing it then we are at WAR! You will most likely DIE in that war! This speech will make you feel better about that! Remember! We will fight them on the BEACH! We will fight them on the SEAS! We will fight them on a MOAT! We will fight them on a BOAT! WE WILL NOT EAT GREEN EGGS AND HAM! Do you maggots remember the speech from Braveheart? Start thinking about it now! MISTER GARPABARP, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL! Dmismissed.”
Uber Update Day 3!

Secret Page Alert!! **Click on the drawing of the Pyro on the top right*

The Detonator!

Secret Page Alert!!  **Click on the Bonk Energy can on the bottom left**
Ah… you’ve been bonked so many times int he head. You’ve become and idiot. I’ll link you there.
Scout Pack

“With these two new class packs, you can join the “family business.” (We’re really talking about the Mafia!) Make people “sleep with the fishes” (kill them) in “cement shoes.” (No idea.) Then, “close the door on your wife Diane Keaton.” (Diane Keaton must never know about these class packs, you guys!)”

Uber Update Day 1

Team Fortress 2 has revamped their website! Check it out!

http://www.teamfortress.com/